Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I'm a Crappy Pregnant Lady

I suck at being pregnant. I love babies--nursing, rocking, even changing diapers. Toddlers? My most favorite age (so far). We'll ignore the frustration that is 3 and 4 year olds. 5 year olds that are so proud of doing for themselves and helping others? Awesome. But being pregnant? It pretty much sucks. Each time I've told myself I'm going to appreciate every second. We lost our first pregnancy and I feel some deep seated karmic debt there--I SHOULD appreciate every second. I know firsthand what it feels like physically and emotionally to suddenly be cured of the ills of pregnancy and it ain't pretty. But no matter how good my intentions, my appreciation lasts for all of 2.6 days. I just don't like being sick. I can handle the exhaustion, the sore back, the waking up all night to pee, the sore boobs, the itchy skin, the feet in the ribs, even the pre-term labor (if and when it pops up). But the being sick? That's got to go. I have no idea how the hyperemesis gravida ladies do it.

And the thing is, I'm not even technically sick. I haven't thrown up a single time, which means I'm doing "better" than I did with the girls. No, I just feel like I'm going to throw up any second...and it lasts pretty much all day long. If I can force myself to eat, I do okay and the food stays down, I've just gotta consciously will myself not to gag with every single bite. I really, REALLY don't want to eat (which is not conducive to curing nausea). I have seriously considered if there's a doctor out there who would put me in a medically induced coma and tube feed me for a few weeks. See? Weeks. Not even months. If I follow the same pattern as previous pregnancies, I'll be good to go by the first of May. I'm such a wuss.

And while we're on the topic and I'm in such a jolly mood, I'll go ahead and answer a lot of the speculation I'm hearing....yes, #3 was planned. No, we were not trying to get a boy (a boy would be fine, but we're really kind of hoping for another girl). And no, we aren't planning on anymore after this.

6 comments:

Rachel said...

I am sorry you are feeling so miserable. The thought of going through all the nausea and vomiting again fills me with terror! Have you tried the sea bands? I'm sure you have, but they helped me distinguish nausea from hunger in those early weeks, though they did not prevent my from puking all.day.long. Hang in there, May is just around the corner!

The Hills said...

Yeah, I have a set. They actually make it worse for some reason. I haven't figured that out. There's another pressure point on your breastbone to help nausea--that actually offers some temporary relief.

Josie said...

Congratulations Kimberly! I had hyperemesis gravida, yeah IV and all but luckily it wasn't that bad again after that 24 hour incident. I still threw up daily but didn't need medical care. I found that sniffing lemons helped. I carried them everywhere and sniffed them constantly for 8 months!! I swear it helped but I bet I looked ridiculous. Oh and tea with ginger each morning helped too but not as much as the lemons. Hope it gets better soon.

Marti Kubena said...

I feel for you! I remember last May, when I was about 7 weeks along, sitting at the dining table crying to my husband about how I just wanted to feel normal again. I don't throw up either. I spent months wishing I could. My appetite is just now going back to normal. I was also nauseous during the third trimester of #3 and for a few weeks after she was born. I've never found anything that made my nausea better. If you discover something, let me know. Sending anti-nausea thoughts your way!

The Hills said...

Actually, sniffing lemons does quell the queasiness in the moment, but doesn't do anything for helping me eat, which is the source of my problem. It's starting to seem really unfair that someone can't just put in an N-G tube and pump some ensure into me--I DO NOT want to eat.

Plenty of crying around here too Marti. Mostly centered on how much I don't want to eat. I get sick after they're born too, but only when they nurse and only for a little while....I can handle that, just not the "all day long, every single food makes me gag" thing.

MoJoMama said...

Well, you know... I AM trained in inserting NG tubes :P I'm sorry your feeling so crummy :( Hang in there friend, there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

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