Pet Peeve

I was trying to think of some cutsie title for this post, but all that came to mind was "The Wednesday WTF", but even when I cleaned it up to WTH, that didn't seem quite right, and now I'm still blogging about what I wasn't going to blog about, so let's move along now.

I repeat to myself (often) "not my choices, not my choices, not my choices". I am passionate about childbirth and breastfeeding issues...I have very strong opinions about childbirth and breastfeeding choices. However, I also work with families from all different walks of life and recognize their right to make the choices that are best for their families. That doesn't mean I never come home wanting to pull my hair out over a choice someone makes though, so I started taking a deep breath and saying, "not my choices, not my choices, not my choices". It's my job to educate, not to dictate what a certain family should do, I can't make those choices for them. I've gotten fairly good at letting things go and not obsessing over what other families do.

But THEN.......some people make choices and claim that wasn't their choice. And well, that irks me (to put it mildly). Here's the thing. There is a difference between "I have to" and "I choose to". I think people might be better at distinguishing them if they also brushed up on the definitions of "Need" and "Want". It would be a lot easier for me to "live and let live" with people who have different lifestyle choices than me if they would stop complaining about their lifestyle choices. There are SOOOO many things we've convinced ourselves we NEED and therefore we HAVE to live our lives a certain way to meet those "needs". Much like you should weigh the benefits and risks of medical procedures, it's really a good idea to weigh the pros and cons of lifestyle choices and then recognize that they ARE CHOICES. And when the cons come up (because nothing is perfect), remind yourself that the pros of this choice outweigh the cons of the other choice. We make some choices because we want certain material goods. We make some choices because it makes us feel good about ourselves (those things that fall within our own moral and ethical guidelines). We make some choices because we believe it's what a good spouse, parent, child or sibling should do (back to those morals). We make some choices just because we don't like the alternative. There are LOTS of reasons to make certain choices and everyone has to make their own. But for the love of all that is good in the world, and my own sanity, please take a moment to step back and think, "do I really HAVE to? If I made another choice, what would the consequences be?" and then consciously MAKE A CHOICE. Accept that it's your choice. Snuggle down and get comfortable in your choice. Just don't complain to me about your choice, especially when it's a situation where you have the ability to change your mind and make a different choice tomorrow if your original choice is no longer working out for you.

Post Script: I used the word "choice" 28 times in this post (now 29). Weird word.

Baffled

I understand having a prepared speech. I understand having notes to refer to. I have a little trouble understanding anyone past high school keeping those notes on their hand, but hey, if professionalism isn't high on the priority list, whatever. What completely baffles me though is apparently writing some of your core beliefs/platforms on your hand. By definition, those things should be pretty ingrained and hard to forget, I'd think? If stage fright is an issue (but still, wow) at least get a note card, right? And for the record, yes, I'm biased. I cannot stand Sarah Palin. Aside from Cheney, I think she's my least favorite Republican or Tea Partian, or whatever. (For the record, my least favorite Democrats are currently Hillary Clinton and Harry Reid)

The Huffington Post Article: Palin's Tea Party Crib Notes

A small rant...

There's probably more to this story, but I'm a mother and I really don't care. Can someone please let me know ahead of time what day they're planning to take confessed murderers, legally insane or not, to the county fair?!?! I'd like to keep my children home that day. That is all.

The Gift of Skepticism

I'm a skeptic. Always have been. I'm quite certain it's driven every guy I ever dated (including my wonderful husband) crazy. I know it drives my mom crazy (but she'll just claim I got it from my dad). It's not uncommon for me to tilt my head, squint one eye and say, "I love you and all, but I'm gonna have to look that one up." I don't think this is a bad trait to have. Actually, I didn't realize I was so "bad" until it came to my attention that there are people in the world who believe commercials. Like, REALLY believe them. If the glowing box in the living room says xyz pain reliever is the best, well by george, we need to buy it, because THEY (who is that all knowing "they" everyone always talks about?) said it's the best. And we all know research studies funded by commercial interests are amongst the soundest studies out there.....can you hear my eyes rolling???

Being a skeptic, email forwards (and now, facebook forwards) really eat at me. We all played telephone as kids--where you whisper something once and only once to your neighbor and they whisper to their neighbor until you get all the way around the classroom and the last kid announces that the secret was, "blue goats wear underwear at breakfast" and we all had a big laugh. Email is a giant game of telephone. Either someone makes up something ludicrous to begin with or it gets suddenly changed along the way until it is in no way shape or form the way it started out. Talk radio is like a big game of telephone as well. I've come to the conclusion that the more pissed off your talk radio personality is, the less likely they are telling the truth--really. fact check it. One person spouts off their less than informed opinion to their audience, half of those people go home and try to relate the relevant points to friends and family, who try to relate the relevant points.....well, you get the idea.

So what's a true skeptic to do?? Well, first of all, never get your education from one source. Never. You wanna be a lactation consultant? (for an example from my own life) You need to mentor under more than one lactation consultant. Your profession requires continuing education credits? They need to be from more than one organization/conference. You see something in an email forward that makes your blood boil? Fact check it. You want to know how well a medication works? Try (if you can) to find a study that doesn't have corporate sponsorship.

Here's a starting point: Google. Yup, good ol' google. Does it give you a definitive answer? no. But if you immediately see 20 pages popping up verifying your fact, you know you're on the right path. Conversely (and usually), you'll see 20 pages referencing things like "urban legend" and "myth". Next: Snopes. Snopes covers a good majority of the email forwards that go around. They have annoying pop-ups, but good information. When politics are involved: Fact Check can give you a decent run down (hint: NO ONE tells the whole truth and nothing but the truth). Things concerning your right to bear arms (because I'm in Texas, and believe me, it comes up A LOT): Gun Law News keeps a pretty decent list going of proposed legislation as well as if it's already dying in committee or actually going anywhere (not that we should be complacent, but nor do we need to send out hyperventilating OMG! emails).

Don't get me wrong, there are sources of information that I love that fit my lifestyle well, but they are biased. Heavily biased. As long as I know that and remember that, I'm okay. Whenever there is a topic that riles me up and gets me mad or frustrated at someone or some entity, it's worth purposely going to the other end of the spectrum because the truth probably lies somewhere in between. I can pull out someone from my own little group of friends that thinks CNN is too conservative and someone else who thinks FoxNews is too liberal. EVERYONE has biases--the best way to moderate your own and make sure you haven't gone off the crazy gullible deep end is to seek a second source. Please do so before putting me on your forward list ;-)

Random PSA

I'm aware that I'm a little more strict and "paranoid" than a lot of other moms I know, but I really don't think I'm off base on this one...

Your baby (that's about 5 pounds over the limit for his infant carseat anyway) should NOT be left ALONE, in his carseat, on the floor of Chick-Fil-A, while you wait in line and order and wait for your food. While you were gone, another random kid started rocking your kid (way too roughly) before his mom could pull him away. Oh, and that super pitiful, high pitched, "I've been abandoned" cry that echoed across the restaurant? Yeah, that was your child. I noticed you were so concerned you didn't even turn toward the sound.

Yes, I am the big softie that (though I LOVED the portability of the infant seat when they were asleep) usually had my baby in a sling wherever I went and for sure never let them out of sight at the ripe ol' age of 6 months. But really, I don't get the reasoning behind not looping the handle of that carseat over your arm and keeping the baby with you. They'll carry your tray to the table for you and they're awfully nice about it too. My poor husband about had a heart attack and I think it took every bit of self control he had not to pick the baby up himself when it started crying.