Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Pet Peeve

I was trying to think of some cutsie title for this post, but all that came to mind was "The Wednesday WTF", but even when I cleaned it up to WTH, that didn't seem quite right, and now I'm still blogging about what I wasn't going to blog about, so let's move along now.

I repeat to myself (often) "not my choices, not my choices, not my choices". I am passionate about childbirth and breastfeeding issues...I have very strong opinions about childbirth and breastfeeding choices. However, I also work with families from all different walks of life and recognize their right to make the choices that are best for their families. That doesn't mean I never come home wanting to pull my hair out over a choice someone makes though, so I started taking a deep breath and saying, "not my choices, not my choices, not my choices". It's my job to educate, not to dictate what a certain family should do, I can't make those choices for them. I've gotten fairly good at letting things go and not obsessing over what other families do.

But THEN.......some people make choices and claim that wasn't their choice. And well, that irks me (to put it mildly). Here's the thing. There is a difference between "I have to" and "I choose to". I think people might be better at distinguishing them if they also brushed up on the definitions of "Need" and "Want". It would be a lot easier for me to "live and let live" with people who have different lifestyle choices than me if they would stop complaining about their lifestyle choices. There are SOOOO many things we've convinced ourselves we NEED and therefore we HAVE to live our lives a certain way to meet those "needs". Much like you should weigh the benefits and risks of medical procedures, it's really a good idea to weigh the pros and cons of lifestyle choices and then recognize that they ARE CHOICES. And when the cons come up (because nothing is perfect), remind yourself that the pros of this choice outweigh the cons of the other choice. We make some choices because we want certain material goods. We make some choices because it makes us feel good about ourselves (those things that fall within our own moral and ethical guidelines). We make some choices because we believe it's what a good spouse, parent, child or sibling should do (back to those morals). We make some choices just because we don't like the alternative. There are LOTS of reasons to make certain choices and everyone has to make their own. But for the love of all that is good in the world, and my own sanity, please take a moment to step back and think, "do I really HAVE to? If I made another choice, what would the consequences be?" and then consciously MAKE A CHOICE. Accept that it's your choice. Snuggle down and get comfortable in your choice. Just don't complain to me about your choice, especially when it's a situation where you have the ability to change your mind and make a different choice tomorrow if your original choice is no longer working out for you.

Post Script: I used the word "choice" 28 times in this post (now 29). Weird word.


Karen said...

I really appreciated this post! There are so many times I hear that phrase, "I had to make that choice." When I'm am in a similar situationas many of the people I hear this from and I KNOW that the choice wasn't a have to but really a, "I don't want to look around and find other options so I'm just going to complain about this so I can convice myself and everyone else that it was a have to choice." Totally bugs me! Thanks for venting.

Karen said...

Sorry for the amount of mis-spelled words

Casey, Alicia, and Ada said...

What happened!??!

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